


Love and Life

by Beathen



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Death, Drabble Collection, Drama, Fluff, M/M, Romance, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 20:17:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 34
Words: 6,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5305409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beathen/pseuds/Beathen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of vignettes highlighting the relationship between Brian and Justin, based on various prompts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Two Hearts – Two Souls – Ten Parts

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on livejournal from November 12th, 2006 through March 18th, 2007. (I own nothing - it all belongs to Showtime and Cowlip.) 
> 
> This started out as a 100 drabble challenge based on a grid of prompts. I only made it halfway through the challenge and lost interest so the grid is incomplete (50%).  
> *Written for the qaf_challenges community - icon challenge. Many thanks to a wonderful and awesome beta, besame_bj

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of 10 drabbles highlighting the ups and downs between Brian and Justin throughout the years. Goes AU with drabble #6. (Season 5 haters will love it.)

  
Banner by badbadpixie

  
**Two Hearts – Two Souls – Ten Parts**

  
**First Night** [#26: First]

  


He was nervous and his hands were sweaty. As he walked down the street, Justin tried to act cool, but he was sure his racing heart was beating so loud that everyone around him could hear. He tried to walk "the walk" up to the light post and hoped he wouldn’t be called out for the virgin he was. He leaned his head against the cold, hard metal of the pole and kept his eyes open, hoping someone beautiful would come his way.

"Had a busy night?" the brunette asked as he stopped in front of him, raising an eyebrow.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
**Playtime** [#27]

  


Justin had power. He knew it and he loved it. Even though Brian behaved like the one in charge, Justin could turn that around and have Brian at his heels, demanding sex; begging words would never come out of his mouth.

The moment Justin bit the condom wrapper in Woody’s, Brian was lost. There would be no other men that night. Only a young, blond twink with lips made for kissing and a perfect ass. 

Michael called Justin, "adopt-a-trick," but he didn’t know that Justin had never been a trick. Tricks fucked and left; lovers fucked and stayed. Justin stayed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
**Perfect Match** [#28: Perfect]

  


Brian and Justin understood one another. Brian needed someone to see through his bullshit, and Justin needed someone to enlighten him in the ways of the world.

~

"I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking. It's honest. It's efficient. You get in and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit."

~

"Brian, I’m the most mature person you know…. Being mean to me has never really worked." Justin tenderly kissed his way up Brian’s neck.

He turned to look at the blond, frowning. "What are you doing?"

"I’m killing you with kindness."

Brian had no response.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
**#4 – Fucking** [#29: Sex]

  


It was needy. It was carnal. It was their communication. Nothing spoke clearer than a cock ramming up a tight ass. Over and over… and over again. Grunts. Moans. Pleasure. Each thrust spoke the words, "Never leave." "Stay." "I need you." Every worry from their lives was pushed into the deep abysses of their minds when they connected in such a primal way. So slick. So tight. So smooth. So good. Speeding up and slowing down, taking one another to the brink and backing off. Delayed gratification. Finally, unable to hold back and finally falling over the edge of bliss.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
**Afterglow** [#30]

  


Their minds are blank except for the shockwaves of pleasure still coursing through their bodies. Brian reaches over to light a cigarette. He usually makes a comment like, "Amazing!" or "That was fuckin’ hot." and exhaling smoke in the process. Justin basks in the afterglow, satiated for the moment, but knowing that he’ll soon be ready to have Brian fuck him again. This thought glides through his brain even as it begins to shut down and prepare for sleep. There is no peace like that of having every thought, concern, and worry fucked out of him. Justin loves the afterglow.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
**Fighting** [#46]

  


It started out as a simple disagreement. They had remained relatively calm for a few minutes. When Brian finally started talking he was terse, but it had escalated quickly.

"I asked you two times to pick it up at the store while you were out! What the fuck am I going to drink in the morning?" Brian yelled.

Justin was fuming. It wasn’t his fault that he’d had to work later than he expected. "I don’t care what you drink!" he yelled back. "How many times have I asked you to do something for me and then _you_ completely forgot?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
**Making a Connection** [#47: Connection]

  


"I’m sorry. Okay?"

Brian tossed back the glass of Beam he’d poured.

"And don’t tell me 'sorry is bullshit'. I have to say it."

Brian turned away from Justin. Before he could walk away, Justin caught his arm from behind.

"It won’t happen again. I promise."

Brian pulled Justin towards him until their lips met. Breaking away he said, "Don’t make promises you can’t keep."

Justin grinned. "Fine. I’ll try better next time."

Wrapping his arms around Justin’s body, Brian held him close and whispered, "You’d better do more than try, you little shit."

Justin pushed him away, smiling. "Fucker."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
**Fear** [#48]

  


It was a cold, gnawing pain. Fear tried to claw his heart open and make him bleed. As he stepped out of the car and entered the scene of horror, he could not catch his breath. Bloody, blackened faces stared at his with blank eyes devoid of hope. He had to search for the one person who’d always been his lifeline. He walked through the wreckage of fallen beams and smoke and debris, and called out. Then he saw him, stumbling, almost falling. Brian wrapped his arms around the slight frame and held on. He was never letting go again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
**Looking to the Future** [#49: Exquisite]

  


"Exquisite."

Justin beamed up at Brian with that single word of praise, knowing he meant it. "Thanks," he said, blushing.

"I want to buy it."

"Brian…"

Brian tried to avoid Justin’s stare. He could practically feel Justin’s eyes boring into him and risked a sideways glance to see Justin’s inquisitive look. The rest of the gallery faded away in that look.

"It’s a part of you. I don’t want it to go to someone who won’t appreciate it." The 'as much as I will,' was left unspoken.

Justin slipped his hand into Brian’s, turning back to look at the painting.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
**Forever** [#50]

  


Neither Brian nor Justin ever imagined they’d be here in this moment, dressed in tuxes and wearing matching smiles. People say it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony, but in this case, that wasn’t a problem.

They walked down the aisle together. Brian almost gagged from the romantic nature of the whole thing. The only thing keeping him in check was knowing that once he exited the room, Justin’s ass was his; the bed in their rented condo in Jamaica was waiting.

Justin stared at Brian, "I do."

"I fuckin’ do, too," Brian replied.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
_Two souls with but a single thought, Two hearts that beat as one._  
~ Friedrich Halm

_Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction._  
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry


	2. Seasons of Our Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four drabbles showing their breakup and reunion.

**Fall (Gapfiller for 219)** [#64]

The late autumn wind whipped across Justin’s face as he walked back to the loft. His body and heart seemed to be sated, but his mind was screaming at him, telling him what he had done was wrong. Justin tried to shut his mind off, but the wind seemed to mock him. He hoped the scent of the other man would've dissipated by the time he got back.

Luck was not on his side.

Brian’s kiss brought him to his knees. He was being possessed, claimed by a man who would not voice his love.

“Take a shower. You stink.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Winter (Gapfiller for 305)** [#61]

Justin said he needed to hear the words… words that Brian would not say. Well, that was just fine. He’d found someone else to fill that need in his life. But as he walked through the park with his lover, the leaves crunching beneath his feet, his lover dropped a bomb.

“If I sign on, you have to disappear. I can’t be gay.”

Justin was floored; the “great love” he had supposedly found was turning his back on him. He knew then he would always take second place.

It wasn’t just the winter wind that chilled him to the bone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Spring (Gapfiller for 308)** [#62]

The scent of spring flowers drifted on the air as Justin walked through the main doors of Vangard. He wasn’t nervous – he’d planned what he was going to say – but he was unsure of Brian’s possible response. Justin knew he’d fucked up everything by walking out; he wanted back in.

Brian stared at him, not saying anything for a moment, after Justin delivered his “I know what to expect from you” speech. Justin’s heart skipped a beat as he waited for Brian to either accept or reject him.

“You’re never to play violin music in my presence again.”

“I promise.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**Summer** [#63]

The heat generated between the two bodies was hot enough to rival the summer humidity outside the loft. Brian’s head bobbed over Justin’s stiff cock.

Justin’s hands were fisted in Brian’s hair, gripping tightly as his breathing sped up and moans constantly escaped his mouth. He was so close and whimpered out loud, praying that Brian finish him off quickly and letting the raging fire explode from his body.

As Brian swiped the tip of his tongue over the head of Justin’s cock, spurts of cum erupted into Brian’s mouth.

Coming out of his post-orgasmic daze Justin whispered, “Thank you.”


	3. Stained

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A ficlet about Justin's paintings

**Stained** [#96]

Stained. It’s a word that connotes dirtiness, something sullied, no longer pure, ugly, bad. Spill red wine on a white shirt and it leaves a blemish that won’t easily come out.

Justin sees things in a different way. When he takes his paints and runs them over a pure white canvas, he is forever staining the surface. But, the result is not ugliness, it is not sullied in the sense that it is forever ruined. It becomes a masterpiece of color and light.

As Justin stands back to view his latest creation, Brian comes up behind him and places an arm around his shoulders, pulling him back against his chest. He squints at the array of reds, blues, greens, and all the colors of the rainbow trying to decipher what Justin has captured in his creation. There is no pattern and Brian is stumped.

“What is it?” he finally asks.

Justin tilts his head upward to look into Brian’s face and smiles. “It’s Stained.”


	4. Travel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gapfiller for 217

**Travel** [#14]

Justin made the decision to go to Vermont without Brian to get back at Brian for failing to keep his promise.  He thought he would have a good time by himself, but things weren’t right; the seat on the plane next to him was empty, the bed in the hotel was too big, the room too quiet, and the happiness he hoped to feel was missing.  His victory was hollow.He stayed the whole week to prove a point, though.  He didn’t need Brian to entertain him, but the trip, while fun, proved to him that he _wanted_ Brian around.


	5. Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  Beginning

**Beginning** [#1]

Brian lay on his bed, smoking, and patiently waiting for Justin to come home.  He stubbed out his cigarette as he heard the loft door slide open and then close.  Justin walked into the bedroom, quickly shed his clothes, and crawled under the covers.  Brian watched as Justin slid close and saw lust in his eyes.  Rolling to his side and reaching an arm around Justin, he guided their mouths together so they could taste one another.  Justin ran a hand down Brian’s taut back as he sucked Brian’s tongue into his warm mouth.  Both groaned as their desire flared.


	6. Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:  Inside

**Inside** [#4]

Justin loved being fucked, especially by Brian.  It was a dual sensation of being filled on the inside, a hard cock pounding into his ass, and his fingers forming a vice around his cock with a firm but delicate grip.  All thought fled as Brian thrust in once again, Brian’s balls hitting his ass.  He moaned as Brian’s body retreated, then quickly returned once more.  It was a smooth gliding motion, helped along by lube and sweat.“Oh God!  Harder!”  Justin groaned.Brian responded by snapping his hips even more forcefully, bringing them both quickly to the brink of bliss.


	7. New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> post-513

**New Year** [#95]

Justin sat at the bar nursing his drink.  He didn’t want to join the crowds in Times Square to watch the ball drop, signaling a new year.  He wasn’t happy and didn’t want to celebrate; Brian had said he wouldn’t be able to come out for a visit at the last minute… Gent Technology needed a new campaign by January 2nd. As Justin sat there, someone placed a hand on his neck.  He started to brush it away, but stopped when he heard a familiar voice. “Hello, Sunshine.” Justin broke into a grin as he leaned in for a kiss.


	8. Let This Be The Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Christmas approaches Brian and Justin struggle with their failing relationship. (Future fic - Justin is back in Pittsburgh)

**Christmas** [#92]

Justin wasn't sure when it had happened. He used to have such a beautifully complex relationship with Brian - fighting, sex, admiration, respect, and a rhythm of life that others couldn't understand, but Brian and Justin did. Debbie would say Brian was too much of an asshole to such a sweet kid. Ted would say Brian was too old; Emmett would say Justin was too cute; Michael would say Brian still loved him best anyway, and on down the list of their friends. Ha! _Friends._ What did their friends really know about their (non)relationship or how they made it work?

Except now it wasn't working. The fighting was devoid of real fire, the conversation, such as it was, was minimal and clipped, and the sex was mechanical: condom, lube, thrust, grunt, come, done. Turning his head to the side to look at Brian sleeping quietly next to him, he didn't know what to do. Anything he could think to do to fix whatever was wrong would be shot down in some way or other by Brian's wit or walls. Sighing dishearteningly, Justin rolled away from Brian and tried to get more sleep.

~~~

Later that morning, while Brian was drinking coffee at the computer, he saw Justin emerge from the bedroom rumpled and morose. Brian noticed that Justin wasn't particularly chatty as he filled his mug and sat on the couch to drink it. He knew by the silence that something was up with Justin; he could see the wheels turning in that blond head. Brian had felt the change in their relationship and guessed that was the issue Justin was mulling over. With Christmas just around the corner, Brian knew something had to change with both of them or they would fall apart for good, and that was something Brian wouldn't be able to handle. 

A little while later, after Justin had showered and dressed, he put on his coat.

"Where are you going?" Brian asked.

"To the mall. I have to finish my Christmas shopping."

Brian sighed. He hated the mall during the off-season, but even more so now. Mostly, though, he was worried about Justin dealing with all the crazy people fighting over the last toy on the shelf, and waiting in long checkout lines with pushy people and grumpy cashiers.

Brian swiveled around to watch Justin wrap his scarf around his neck. He stood up and turned up Justin's collar, looking down into blue eyes that had lost their sparkle. "Call me if you need anything." Brian said as he placed a kiss on Justin's forehead. 

Returning the kiss to Brian's chin, Justin replied, "I will."

As Brian watched Justin walk out the door he knew what his gift for Justin would be. He only hoped it would be well received.

~~~

At the mall, Justin looked in four different stores trying to find the perfect gift for Brian. This was going to be more than just a standard gift. It was going to be a way to reunite with Brian emotionally, and a shirt or tie didn't carry the weight he needed. As he perused the shelves the answer came to him and he hurried to get what he needed before heading back to the loft.

~~~

Christmas Eve at the loft was subdued. There was no tree, no twinkling lights and no sounds of holiday music echoing throughout the loft. Brian and Justin were sitting on the couch - Justin reading, Brian smoking, and neither talking. Reaching into his bag, Justin pulled out his gift and turned toward Brian, handing it to him.

"What the fuck is this?"

Justin looked away. "It's your gift."

Brian looked warily at the plain white envelope before opening it and pulling out a card. The front showed some generic snowy wonderland scene with a pine tree covered in white lights. Opening the card, Brian read: 

_Brian,_

_There are no gifts in the world that can show you how much I love you. You say words are bullshit, but when they're spoken (or written) from the heart they carry a lot of weight. Yes, I know you’ll think this whole thing is lesbianic, but I haven't been blind to the gap that's been growing between us. Just know that I will do everything in my power to make things right. I'm with you for life (even if your dick falls off from all this sentimentality)._

_Love,  
Justin_

Justin fidgeted while Brian silently read the card, hoping he'd made the right decision in writing it. Finally, Brian looked up at him and pulled Justin to him, kissing him with a passion that had been lacking in recent days. Justin threw his arms around Brian's shoulders and held him in place as their tongues mingled in each other's mouth. 

Breaking the kiss, Brian whispered, "I have something for you, too."

Justin couldn't stop the shocked expression that came across his face, but quickly replaced it with a smile. Brian huffed a laugh as he got up from the couch and walked to his desk. Justin's eyes followed him the whole way, but didn't physically follow Brian; he knew that when Brian did anything for others, he needed his space. Retrieving a small wrapped gift from a drawer, Brian returned to the couch and gave it to Justin as he sat down.

Justin held the gift in his hands, almost afraid to open it. He never knew what to expect from Brian... it could be a joke or gag or sex toy, he wasn't holding his breath for anything sentimental, and he wanted to prepare himself mentally in case it was the former. He carefully unwrapped the paper and stared in wonder at the plain red box.

"Brian?" Justin questioned, confusion and wonder creeping into his voice.

Brian could only look down at his hands as Justin propped the lid open on its hinge to reveal two platinum bands.

Clearing his throat, Brian said, "I know things have been… off, lately…"

As Justin pulled the smaller band out of the box, Brian whispered, "… but no matter what, I want you to stay." He pulled the ring out of Justin's hand and placed it on the third finger of Justin's left hand. Pulling the larger band out of the box, he handed it to Justin, who placed it in the same position on his own hand. Broken out of his shock, Justin straddled Brian’s legs as he leaned in to kiss him hungrily.

~~~

As the snow fell outside the windows, freezing the world and those that dared to brave the conditions, the interior of the loft raged with heat as two souls began their journey to reuniting once again.


	9. Colorless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gapfiller for 122

**Colorless** [#20]

"Justin!"

Brian ran, but was unable to stop the bat, or to pull Justin away in time. He knelt over Justin, rocking back and forth, calling his name. But there was no response. The trauma of the situation made everything appear black and white - cold, colorless - except for the blood that was pooling on the ground, spreading slowly across the cold cement and seeping into the cracks. 

Brian's eyes were wide with horror, but all he could see was Justin. Even when the paramedics tried to move him out of the way, Brian couldn't look away from Justin's pale face.


	10. Passing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gapfiller for 407

**Passing** [#65]

Justin had laughed when Brian found him and told him. He thought it had been a joke and a way for him to lose the bet. As the words sank in and Brian's face remained grim, Justin's smile faded.

"He's gone."

Those two words echoed in his head. It was hard to believe it was true. But now, as he stood at the gravesite next to Brian, his head bowed, the reality once again made its presence known.

Justin cautiously reached for Brian's hand, hoping he wouldn't pull away. As their fingers entwined, Brian squeezed his hand in silent reassurance.


	11. Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU

**Snow** [#67]

"Fucking snow!" Brian cursed. The blizzard that had blown through town for days had buried his car under a blanket of snow. There was no helping it – he _had_ to go to work, and public transportation was not an option.

Later, after opening the door and getting in, Brian pulled out his phone. As soon as he heard the line pick up he growled, "Get your ass down here."

A minute later, Justin opened the opposite door and got in quickly, escaping the cold. Justin grinned at him as he leaned over Brian, undid his zipper, and relieved Brian’s stress.


	12. What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU

**What?** [#77]

Brian started getting a bad feeling when his phone calls with Justin were littered with comments like, "Can you repeat that?" "Say that again." and "What?" Brian checked his phone and saw that he had four bars. Considering the coverage in the city, Justin should have full service on his phone as well. Barring other complications, this meant something was wrong with Justin's hearing.

He dialed his phone and waited for Justin to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Justin." Brian whispered.

" _Hello_?"

Brian closed his eyes briefly – his suspicions correct and his heart breaking.

"I was just calling to say hi."


	13. Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gapfiller for 307

**Sunrise** [#31]

He'd once been promised that the room would glow red and gold when the day started. Justin stared at the ceiling and walls to confirm this was true. What should have been a comfort in those colors all Justin could see were promises made and broken. His heart ached for the minimalism of Brian's loft, the cool tones, and untouched appliances.

As Justin thought about it, he knew Brian only kept quality items in his loft – nothing second rate. What did it say about _him_ that Brian had once allowed Justin to stay? 

Also, would Brian allow Justin to return?


	14. Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> timeless

**Fire** [#52]

The first time it happened, Brian passed it off as indigestion. The second time – heartburn. When it happened a third time, he could no longer pass it off as either of those things. The fact was seeing Justin's face light up with a smile made Brian feel good inside. It was a mixture of emotions hard to pin down: pride, adoration, respect, and love, in an all-consuming fire of passion. The flames licked at every corner of his being, rebuilding his faith and hope. Though he might not say the words, there was no more denying his feelings for Justin.


	15. Where?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gapfiller, post 122 – 202

**Where?** [#78]

Opening his eyes, Justin gasped. There were IVs, beeping machines, bandages, and the smell of disinfectant. What had happened? He realized he was in a hospital, but he wondered about Brian. His last memory had been asking him to go to prom… Brian must have been there when he was hurt. But wait! What if Brian was hurt too? A nurse came into the room and checked the monitors on Justin. He tried to ask about Brian, but she said there was no one in the ICU with that name.

Justin's face fell with disappointment and relief.

Where was Brian?


	16. Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gapfiller, post 122 – 202

**Dancing** [#13]

As Daphne turned on the music, Brian gently pulled Justin into his arms. It was torture, holding Justin so close, but still being so far away. As the familiar tune wafted through the loft, Brian led Justin in a slow dance. Brian could remember every detail of that night: Justin's radiant smile, the way he grasped Brian's arm, the way their feet moved, circling around each other.

For Justin's sake, he hoped that some recollection of that night would return.

A memory flashed across Justin's vision. "We really danced to this corny old song?"

"Yeah. You should have been there."


	17. Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gapfiller, post 122 – 202

**Time** [#6]

After Justin moved back into the loft, Brian vowed to give him as much time as he needed to feel comfortable being intimate again. It was hard, though. Brian never had to think about every move or caress before, and now he had to be aware of everything.

As they lay on the bed together, staring at one another’s face, Brian carefully placed a hand on Justin's clothed shoulder. Justin's breathing sped up as Brian ran his hand over his arm and back.

Justin leaned in for a kiss and sighed at the familiar taste of his lover's mouth.


	18. Clothes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gapfiller, post 122 – 202

**Clothes** [#12]

Justin hadn't been comfortable with being nude lately – it felt wrong somehow, so he’d been sleeping with his shirt and underwear on. But that evening, things felt different… things _were_ different. As he pulled the tainted scarf from around Brian's neck he whispered, "I want you inside me."

"Are you sure?"

Justin's response was to push the shirt Brian was wearing off his shoulder. They quietly pulled off the rest of their clothes, often pausing to caress and kiss one another.

Brian moved slowly inside of Justin, holding the smaller body to his own.

Justin knew he had come home.


	19. Fizzy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Season 1 gap filler.

**Fizzy** [#85]

Brian and Justin sat in Woody's, each holding a beer. Out of nowhere, Brian asked, "Do you want to see something funny?"

Justin was still naïve enough to say yes.

Justin looked at Brian, not sure what was going on. Brian tapped the top of the bottle with his own and Justin stared in horror as the foam on top of his beer began to rise. Not wanting to lose a drop of his precious drink Justin downed the entire beer, his mouth trying to contain the expanding substance as he swallowed quickly.

Brian was going to pay for that.


	20. Broken... to Fixed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post 201.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: attempted non-con

**Broken** [#71]

" Ever since you moved in, I haven't slept well! I wake up every fucking night thanks to you!"

"I can't help that I have nightmares, Brian!" Justin yelled back. "I can't just turn them off!"

Brian walked into the bathroom, and shut the door. He was frustrated and needed some time to himself. When he emerged and dressed to go out, Justin was on the couch, staring at the blank television.

"I'll be back later," Brian said, grabbing his keys.

"Fine. Just be quiet when you get back. I'll be trying to sleep."

Brian walked out without another word.

 

**Please Don't** [#84]

Drunk and staggering, all Brian could think was that he wanted to fuck Justin. He tried to get his key into the door several times before being successful. As he lurched into the bedroom, he peeled off his clothes. Seeing Justin asleep, Brian tried to wake him, but Justin only rolled onto his stomach. Taking this as a sign of compliance, Brian put on a condom and pried Justin's ass cheeks apart. Justin's eyes flew open. He rolled onto his back, and pushed Brian away, hard.

"Stop!"

Brian gasped at his own actions.

He slept on the couch that night.

 

**Storm** [#70]

Justin slammed the cupboard door, creating as much noise as possible. Brian stumbled into the kitchen, clutching his head.

"Is there coffee?"

"I just started it," Justin snapped.

Brian paused to look at Justin who had a scowl on his face. It was too early to deal with a pissy attitude. "What crawled up your ass and died?"

"Obviously not you!" Justin said. "Do you have any idea what you did last night?"

Brian remembered an argument, going to Woody's, and getting drunk. After that he had no memory of the evening. "No."

"You tried to fuck me drunk."

Shit.

 

**Fixed** [#72]

Fuck! How did he let himself get so drunk that he'd almost forced himself on Justin, especially now? 

Justin didn't move as he waited for Brian to speak.

"I… don't know what to say." Brian's voice cracked.

Justin saw sincerity and regret in Brian's eyes. "You could apologize."

Brian cautiously looked at Justin through his eyelashes. "I…" He paused, then walked over to Justin and placed a hand on his face, kissing him gently. "It won't happen again. I promise."

Justin kissed him back as he firmly placed his hands on Brian's waist. Then he walked them to the bedroom.


	21. Fail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Fail

**Fail** [#15]

Brian stopped mid-thrust. He was doing his best to control himself as he started pulling out. “The condom broke.”

Images of Brian fucking him raw filled Justin’s head. As much as he knew the consequences, part of him wanted Brian to continue and he couldn’t help as his muscles contracted around Brian’s cock in this heady but terrifying pleasure.

“Justin, stop!”

Trying to control his thoughts, Justin pictured one of his recent paintings, an abstract with swirls of blue, to calm his nerves and relax his muscles.

When Brian was finally lying next to Justin they both sighed in relief.


	22. Chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Chocolate

**Chocolate** [#10]

Leaning over Brian’s back, Justin drizzled the fudge sauce in a straight line down his spine and into his crack. Setting the jar down on the nightstand, Justin started licking up the fudge. Brian squirmed, wanting more touch, but he didn’t speak, just letting Justin play. It wasn’t often that he let food this messy into his bed, but Justin had begged and he’d relented. As Justin made it down to his ass and Brian felt the sticky substance being licked up by a warm and talented tongue, he vowed to let Justin have his way a little more often.


	23. Valentine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Valentine

**Valentine** [#17]

“I better not see anything red or pink. Nothing resembling chocolate or hearts. Understand?”

Justin looked at Brian’s raised eyebrow and nodded. No hearts. Check. No girly colors. Check. No chocolate. Check. What he had in mind was much better than all of that materialistic crap.

When Brian walked into the bedroom to change clothes later, Justin was on the bed with a mischievous smile on his face and a blue ribbon tied in a bow around his cock.

“Would you like to open your present now?” Justin asked.

The sound of a zipper was music to both their ears.


	24. Shampoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Shampoo

**Shampoo** [#11]

Brian stepped into the shower and started rubbing a bar of soap over Justin’s back. Justin turned and leaned into Brian’s touch, moaning when a hand brushed across his stomach.

“You’re a very dirty boy. I think you need to be cleaned up.”

Justin sighed happily. “Lucky I’ve got you to help me.”

Brian smirked as he reached for the bottle of shampoo and poured a small amount onto Justin’s head and lathered the soap into a foam. The small sounds of pleasure emanating from Justin’s mouth caused Brian’s cock to harden. It wasn’t long before they were “dirty” again.


	25. Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post 122

**Life** [#87]

Brian appeared to be blank as he sat in the hallway, but his mind was working furiously. He was remembering the first time he met Justin up to and including dancing with him at prom. He couldn’t help the tears falling – as much as he hated to admit it, he cared for Justin. And now his life was slipping away… a result of hate.

When the doctor came out to announce that Justin was conscious Brian was relieved, but also afraid. Would Justin even want to see him after what he’d done? He would be better off without Brian around.


	26. Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post season 5

**Too Much** [#33]

Lonely and miserable, Justin lay sprawled on the couch, silence his only company. He was working a crap job to pay his bills, and had lost inspiration for painting. Nothing was going the way he’d imagined. He tried to push these feelings aside, but they were overwhelming.

Justin picked up his phone.

Answering on the first ring, Brian said, “Hi, Justin.”

Justin sighed. “I want to come home.”

There was a pause as Brian digested the words. “Do you need a ride?”

His breath catching, Justin said, “Yes.”

“I’ll be there in a few hours. Be waiting for me.”

“Okay.”


	27. Promise... Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gapfiller - 308

**Promise** [#7]  
Brian POV

“I promise.” Two small words that carry a lot of weight. I look at Justin and see the determination in his face; though he’s trying to be casual, I can see he means every word. The truth he speaks isn’t just in his words, either. It’s in the way he smiles, caresses me, and helps me pull off my clothes. As skin touches skin on our legs, chests, and cocks, I’m overwhelmed with feeling. I let the sensations carry me away instead of fighting them. Justin can already see through me and there’s no use hiding. I’m lost in him.

 

 **Lovers** [#23]  
Justin POV

Brian isn’t fighting me. I’ve presented my case and proposition and he hasn’t said, “No.” I see him carefully consider what I’ve said and reassure him with a promise. As he comes around the desk I know I’m forgiven. 

I lean in to kiss him and he tastes so wonderful. I didn’t realize how much I love Brian’s unique flavor. We’re pulling each other’s clothes off and I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Brian can feel it too as I see his grim expression relax into one of joy. I’m not going anywhere this time.


	28. Sixth Sense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post 513

**Sixth Sense** [#35]

There was nothing special about that Wednesday night. Brian came home, ate, smoked pot, missed Justin, and went to sleep in an empty bed. It had been three months since Justin left to go to New York City and his absence still left a large hole in his heart. In the middle of the night, Brian woke up, instantly alert, his pulse racing. Grabbing his phone from the nightstand, he dialed a familiar number.

“Hello?” Justin said, his voice hitching in an almost sob.

“Justin, are you all right?”

…

“I miss you, Brian.”

“ _I miss you, too,_ ” Brian thought.


	29. Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Sound

**Sound** [#37]

Justin woke up early and groaned, his body refused to stay asleep any longer. As he lay in bed, unwilling to open his eyes, his ears picked up the sounds around him, magnified by the stillness. He heard the faint sounds of the world waking up – dogs barking, car horns blaring, the roar of a plane. Inside the loft, the gurgle of water running through the pipes overhead, the faint sound of music from the downstairs neighbor, the slight wheeze from Brian’s nose, each breath marked by a low whistle. Justin grinned and rolled toward Brian to watch him sleep.


	30. Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post 513

**Dark** [#74]  
In Britin

Justin was up in his studio, the lights blazing and music blaring. He’d felt inspiration come over him and he needed to put paint to canvas immediately. Brian was around somewhere downstairs, keeping himself busy. Justin had just loaded his brush color when everything went dark.

“Fuck!” The power was out. He set his palette down on a nearby table and felt his way into the hallway. As his eyes adjusted to the lack of light he could barely make out the doorways. Suddenly, Brian grabbed him from behind. Justin smiled. There was something he did well in the dark.


	31. Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Touch

**Touch** [#38]

The blindfold over Justin’s eyes heightened his other senses, especially his touch. Each stimulus on his body sent impulses racing through his nerves to his whole body. Brian placed something extremely cold on his nipples, making them harden almost to the point of pain. A trickle of water ran down his chest as the ice cube melted.

“Brian! It’s cold!” Justin whined.

A wet warmth chased the cold away as Brian licked up the water. Justin groaned at the pleasant torture, his cock hard and ready.

“Fuck me!” Justin groaned.

He couldn’t see Brian’s smile as he replied, “Not yet.”


	32. Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Water

**Water** [#51]

Justin didn’t know what made him think it, but he was really glad for water. For instance, the first time he’d seen Brian naked, he’d just poured a bottle of water over his head, droplets clinging to his nose and shoulders.

Justin also remembered being in the shower, the warm, wet heat sliding over his skin as Brian thrust in and pulled out.

He couldn’t count the number of bottles he’d downed at Babylon after drinking, doing drugs, and having sex in the backroom. As Justin unscrewed the top of the bottle in his hand, he smiled at the memories.


	33. School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: School

**School** [#88]

Justin couldn’t believe his good luck when he found something he thought had been lost. He lounged back on the couch, waiting for Brian to walk in.

“What the fuck?” Brian said the moment he stepped through the doorway.

“Do you need to punish me?” Just asked coyly.

Brian took in the blue blazer, shirt and tie Justin was wearing and recognized the St. James attire. Brian pulled off his tie and unbuttoned the top of his shirt as he spread Justin’s legs with his knee.

“I think you need to be taught a lesson, little boy.” Brian said, grinning.


	34. Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post 513

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to justin_nyc & brian_pa

**Moon** [#45]

Brian opened his eyes and glanced toward the balcony of his rented Costa Rican suite, the dim rays of the quarter moon shafting into the room except for where Justin’s slender form blocked them. He was just standing there, his face upturned and the diffused light bouncing off sun-bleached hair. Brian rose from the bed and stood behind Justin, his arms encircling tanned shoulders. He could feel the warmth of sleep radiating off Justin’s back onto his bare chest. Justin relaxed into the strong embrace.

“This is the best vacation ever.”

Brian smiled and placed a kiss on Justin’s forehead.


End file.
